The Feminine Light

Fears, what are they? We all have them. Where do they come from? Why do we have them? What is their purpose? How come some of us have them more than others? These are all questions that bring to our attention our own vulnerabilities. When we look at our fears and face the darkness and immerse ourselves in the darkness, we humble ourselves and honor the unknown. In doing so, no matter how emotionally frightening resting in the unknown is, we show to ourselves that it is our “beingness”, without the need for action, that supports us in our darkest hour. So crucial to our “beingness”, this center that we can call home, the beginning of our truth, is our self-esteem.

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Count your blessings…name ten attributes of yourself that you appreciate. These can be anything that you like about yourself from your hair color, your laughter, your abilities, your relationships to your desires, your character, or even your vulnerabilities or problems that you have resolved. Reflecting on the present moment brings graciousness and vibrancy to the aspects of your life that resonate with you. When you embrace what you do have and nurture those elements of your life that empower you, good things begin to happen. We all have difficulties, some are more severe than others, yet when facing challenges, keeping our heart and mind strong enables us to live a more balanced life.

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Merriam-Webster’s definition of integrity:

1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: incorruptibility
2: an unimpaired condition: soundness
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided: Completeness
synonyms: honesty

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The body… health, cleanliness, nutrition, exercise, fresh air, the use and exchange of your energy to maintain and build the vision of your life, sexuality and the exchange of life, the family and the social dynamics of living in community…getting back to basics, the simplicity of physical foundations.

All else beyond that is a question of education, lifestyle, preferences, expectations, ambitions, social upbringing, self-measurements, creativity, the expansion of our joy and roles. Once we know who we are and have an understanding of our emotional make-up, all the above that is beyond our physical foundations, represents an advanced concept of our purpose and fulfillment. Sometimes, when the nature of what we want has not yet manifested, whether in a relationship or with our work, it is good to remember the structure of life and to breathe and be grateful for our bodies. Nurturing the body and the physical world in which we live allows us to rest in the stillness of your soul, patiently gathering strength while time aligns and enables our unfolding.

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All relationships face three trials of the heart and the challenges of love. What are these tests? Understanding these trials can be experienced in any order, they are:

• The trial of facing challenges together
• The trial of acceptance
• The trial of joy.

No matter which test begins a relationship, it is important to ultimately experience all three trials to build the foundation of true love. The question of integrity is presented at each trial and reveals the truth of the relationship’s strength. Some relationships begin by facing challenges while others begin with the connection of joy or even acceptance and friendship. However the relationship begins, the growth cycle of the relationship will eventually move through all three trials. Some relationships only move or live through one cycle, however short or long, and then reveal a new cycle. When the new cycle begins, a choice to continue the relationship in that next cycle is presented. Sometimes the relationship ends, sometimes it is possible to make a commitment to each other, to grow into this next phase. Sometimes the pressures of the next phase bring separation as the only way the couple can honor each other and fulfill their needs for individual growth and soul evolution.

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Born in the Midwest, I have had a very challenging life from childhood. As an adult, I have had various jobs: I have worked as a nurses aid, as a waitress, owned a Surf Shop and a Tanning Salon, but throughout those experiences I did not find that inner calling. It was when my first child was born, it was in that moment that I knew what I was here for: I am a Mother above all things. I cannot describe the feelings that go through you when your child is born, overwhelming happiness and a feeling of being satisfied, complete. Since my first child was born in 1998, I have stopped working outside of the home. Since then, I have found a passion in writing and have had two more children (even though the doctors said it would not happen). Now life is somewhat chaotic at times.

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